3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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