at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
