So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Buhtt sex?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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