I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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