But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Your tits are I can't wait for
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
