party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
