Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My legs feel like baby dolphins
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
