Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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