Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
