took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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