Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
