I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
