I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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