I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
