so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
