OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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