I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
