I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
