This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
