They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
