I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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