Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
