Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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