oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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