We should be called the Road Head Warriors
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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