just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
