Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
high people should be assigned attendants
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
