wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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