Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
