Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
