Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
