Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize