dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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