so that wasnt chicken after all
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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