you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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