What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize