We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Congratulations! We have a period
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