Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize