Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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