pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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