he puts the penis in happiness.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
