Tell her she can't have a vagina
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
