She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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