Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize