I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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