Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
