Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
