my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
