There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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