Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
