the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
