I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
