and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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