God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
not ubering you a puppy
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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