It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
