butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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