i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
