That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
