her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Randomize
