Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
